Regarding the 10 kids, I might reconsider
by Hans Maulwurf
Summary: Big promises were made after the shooting, what happens when Callie finally wants to have a baby. Arizona-centric. Season 8 my way.
1. Chapter 1

**Summery**: Big promises were made after the shooting, what happens when Callie finally wants to have a baby. Arizona-centric. Season 8 my way.

**Authors note**: English is my second language, so this whole thing is going to be a fun way for me, to work on my skills. Feel free to point out mistakes, so this whole thing can be a learning experience for me.

**Author warning**: I'm very fond of all the main characters on the show, not so much on the interns. I will abuse them, if I want to. :P

**Chapter 1**

It's happening again, I can feel her staring at me, with those big brown eyes. I'm scared, I don't dare to ask her, what's going on.

We are happy, super happy. After moving in a year ago, we have been floating again in our wonderful pink bubble. Of course there are arguments, but which couple doesn't argue sometimes.

My life couldn't be happier.

So instead of rushing home right now, to be with her this evening. I'm hiding behind paperwork. I'm reading the same page for half an hour now.

Thinking back, moving in with her, felt like our whole relationship. So natural, so right. So what could happen next?

Why can't everything stay the same? Maybe she just wants to buy new furniture or maybe, she wants to move into a house, far away from Mark Sloan.

No wait, that just sounded good in my head, that's not why she would stare at me.

Deep down, I know what this is about. It's hanging for months over our heads, like a Damocles sword.

It all started when Derek and Meredith adopted a child.

That look in her eyes, when she held Zola. I know what the staring is about, I'm just in denial right now.

My cell phone is vibrating and I ignore it. I feel so guilty now, but the fear is greater. How long am I going to do this...

I feel someone staring at me and I look straight into Alex's eyes. I hope he didn't see the fear in mine.

"Alex!", I try to sound cheerful.

"Hey, weren't you suppose to be gone, half an hour ago?"

I try to sound surprised, "Is it so late already? I was busy doing paperwork."

He raises an eyebrow, he knows I'm lying. "Maybe it's a new method, but I doubt you can stare the paperwork away."

I take a deep breath. "Is there something I can do for you Karev?" I'm starting to get annoyed.

"Not for me, but your girlfriend called me, she is waiting at home, with your favourite dish. And honestly, I don't even want to know, why you are avoiding her for three days now."

I try to sound shocked, "I'm not avoiding her at all, it has been very stressful days, it happens sometimes, Callie understands." Now I feel really bad, if someone like Karev notices, that I'm avoiding the love of my life, then Calliope knows it, too.

I feel stupid and childish now, I put the paperwork away and Karev leaves the room.

* * *

On my way out, Alex wishes me good night and good luck. I just shake my head. Whatever is going to happen tonight, it can't be that bad, that I fear to be alone with my girlfriend.

I open the door to our apartment and see Mark sitting on the couch. Relieve washes over me. She won't pop the bubble if he is there.

The next person I see is Callie, she is in the kitchen with a Glass of red wine in her hand. God, the second I see her, I start to grin like an idiot. I can't help it, she makes me smile all the time and there is nothing I can do about it.

"Look who has finally arrived. Well, I better leave you two alone then." I try to protest.

"What? Leaving? Why don't you stay for a couple of hours?"

He stands up and pats me softly on my shoulder.

"Nah, the last thing I want is, that our friendship intervenes with your sex life again."

I'm pleading and begging him to stay with my eyes, but he just ignores me.

"I promise I come by tomorrow, I've got a new killer recipe, we should try."

And like that, Mark is gone and I slowly look at Callie. I can't read her face so I just smile.

"Are you going to tell me, why you are mad at me?"

"Me mad? No, I'm not mad at you." I shake my head and start to take my jacket and my boots off. "Oh really? Then why did you avoid me for three days now?"

"I told you I'm busy, it happens!" She takes a slow sip from the wine and puts the Glass down.

I disappear in our bedroom and put something more comfortable on. I hear that she is opening the oven and I can smell the Lasagne she made for me. I feel like a Mouse in her hole and there is a piece of delicious cheese outside. I know it's a trap, but I will go outside anyway.

So I leave my hiding place and sit down beside Callie, she already put the Lasagne on my plate and filled my Glass with red wine. It smells amazing.

I take a bite and I'm immediately in heaven, god how I love it when she cooks for me. I give her a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks, it taste absolutely amazing." She chuckles softly.

"You're welcome. You know, my last three days have been pretty boring, but today, there was this man and his hand, was in a meat grinder. Can you believe that?"

And just like that, we slip into an easy conversation.

* * *

An hour later, we move on to my favourite part of the evening, well my favourite part of any evening with Callie. We are making out like a couple of horny teenagers.

"You know, I've been thinking." Why is she talking, when I'm busy kissing her neck? Then I giggle a little and hope she has been thinking about something sexy or naughty.

"About what?"

I look at her in anticipation, her hair is tousled, her lips are bruised and those eyes, they are lethal. I think I'm going to jump at her any second.

"It's just, I saw you holding Zola and you just seem so natural with children. I thought we could talk about it a little bit more. I mean, we live together for over a year now and I couldn't be happier... but there is something, someone missing, it's just a feeling I'm having. It's not like I want to have a child tomorrow or next week, but I don't want to wait another year either."

I'm shocked, my mouth is open, but for some reason, there aren't words coming out of my mouth. She sits there, waiting for an answer or a statement. I think I can see fear in her eyes.

I reich for the Glass of wine, that is standing on the table and drink it slowly in one swig. The most pathetic way of stalling for time and we both know it.

Between, eating too much Lasagne, drinking too much wine and the heavy make-out session just a couple of minutes ago, there seems to be blood everywhere in my body, expect for my brain. I put the Glass down and I only say: "Okay." I sound unsure, but in a second, my arms are full of happy Calliope Torres and we continue, where we left of.

* * *

The next morning, everything feels like a dream. Maybe the whole baby conversation, was just in my head.

I go and take a hot shower and I'm so glad, that Callie had to go to work early. Everything looks the same, but after my beautiful girlfriend had dropped a nuclear bomb on our pretty pink bubble last night, shouldn't there be any evidence? After the shower, I get ready for work. I decide to eat my breakfast at the hospital. So I grab my coat and leave.

As I enter the hospital, through the main entrance, I see Meredith and Christina talking to each other.

Meredith has Zola in her arms and I smile. Zola is a cute baby. It's not that I don't like children, it's quite the opposite, it's just that I am, so, so afraid, of everything.

It's the same reason why doctors are terrible patients, you just know too much and you just seen too much.

And then there is this factor, that I really love my life the way it is and try to avoid any change.

"Good morning Zola." I let the baby grab my finger. Oh, how I want to grab that chubby face and kiss it.

But there is something very disturbing about to happen, I can feel it. Meredith Grey, child of darkness, is grinning at me, like the cat that ate the canary.

"We heard the good news." I have no clue, what she is talking about, I look at Christina and she is smirking. There is something horrible going to happen, I can feel it, but I ask anyway.

"What good news did you hear?" She looks at Zola and says in that annoying baby voice that parents always make:

"Zola is getting a new friend to play with." Then she looks at me with her big smile.

"You and Callie, are going to have a baby! Congratulations, that's so exciting."

Christina just snorts, disapprovingly. "This baby turned Meredith into a cheerful person, I can hardly wait for you to turn into a fluffy Unicorn of never-ending happiness."

"Yaaay." I just grin at them and wave. "I would love to talk more, but I really have to go. Sick children, you know ... the usual."

I hope, they didn't see me running into the elevator.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors notes: **My thanks go to all the kind reviewers. I hope you all are mentally ready for 10x09. ^^

**Authors notes 1.1**: Fixed some mistakes. Changed the tags for the story and I found my file with scenes I have written for future chapters... it's not going to me all fun and no pain. Thanks for all your awesome feedback. :)

**Chapter 2**:

I sit alone at a table in the cafeteria, eating my cereal, when someone sits down in front of me. It's my dear friend Teddy.

Since she and Henry started sleeping together, her level of happiness bitch slapped my pink bubble. I don't suspect anything bad, when she sits there and smiles at me.

"Good morning. I heard the good news." I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. I'm starting to realize that this is going to be a very long day.

This hospital is full of gossip and affairs that it's nearly a miracle that people actually get treated here.

I look at her and smile: "What can I say..." I really don't know what to say.

"I'm sooooo happy for you. I think the two of you will be great mothers." I let the spoon glide into the bowl, I'm suddenly not hungry any more.

"Thanks that means a lot."

"Maybe I could get pregnant too and our children could play together, wouldn't that be awesome."

I know that Teddy is only joking, but the fear creeps into my guts again.

"Woah, slow down a little bit, we only talked about the possibility, in the near future, many many months from now."

I sound a little harsher than I intended and Teddy looks at me suspiciously.

"Why do I sound more excited than you?"

I have to do some damage control, I know I can trust Teddy, but I'm not ready to admit to anyone that maybe, I did a terrible mistake after the traumatizing shooting.

"No! No, of course I'm excited. Super excited. I just have a very sick patient and I'm really worried..."

I don't need to say more. The sick kids card is just too powerful. Teddy looks at me with full sympathy and gently takes my hand.

"I'm so sorry. How about we talk another time. I need to be in surgery soon anyway."

I try to look sad:" I understand, just go and save a life Teddy."

And with that, I'm alone again. I think I'm just going to get a cup of coffee and see some of my patients.

* * *

It's 2:30 pm and I'm standing at the Nurse station and look at a chart, when Miranda Bailey joins me. This whole day was filled with people staring and smirking at me and other people just saying how wonderful they think that Callie and I want to start a family.

I can feel how the whole thing is starting to piss me off. I know Callie is over the moon with me being okay, to talk about a baby, but there was no reason to broadcast it to the entire hospital.

I turn to Miranda, who is now reading a chart of her own:

"Go on, say it!"

Miranda looks at me and then looks around herself. After she has confirmation that I'm indeed talking to her, she raises an eyebrow and asks:

"Say what exactly."

I know that later on, we will be in an OR together and I just want my surgery to be about the surgery and not personal stuff.

"I know that you know. So. Just say it! Yes it's so super exciting I can hardly contain myself."

There is an awkward silence between us.

"I'm glad that you think to know, what I know, although, I don't know anything. But even if I knew something, I wouldn't want to talk about it."

I don't know why, but suddenly I feel very affectionate towards Miranda and instantly hug her.

"Oh thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me."

I'm so busy hugging Bailey that I don't see how another person joins us.

"What's going on?"

I look up and see Callie standing there. "Nothing." I say and I swiftly take a step back.

"Nothing is going on."

I can see Bailey looking at Callie: "Dr. Robbins seems to be under the impression that I know things and then she hugged me. I want to make it perfectly clear again that I don't know and don't want to know." She takes the chart, holds it on front of her like a shield and walks quickly away.

"What was that all about?" Callie asks me.

"I love Bailey." is the only thing I can say.

She narrows here eyes, like she is really concentrating on something or maybe tries to remember if she missed anything.

"Hmm... okay. Should I be jealous?"

I chuckle a little: "So what can I do for you Calliope?"

"I saw that you have a surgery later and wanted to ask, if you wanted to have lunch with me."

I feel actually a little bit hungry and so I agree.

* * *

We are sitting down and I'm eating my salad. When one of the nurses comes to our table:

"I heard the wonderful news..." and then there is silence.

Blood is flooding my ears as the nurse tells us how her sister is gay and is going to have a baby soon.

Callie just nods and smiles, but looks kind of helpless in my direction.

After a couple of minutes the nurse leaves us alone and Callie just looks at me. She knows that I'm going to explode soon and I can feel it too.

I drop the fork and start my rant:

"Really, Calliope, really? I know that you are excited and happy about your dream coming true, but we didn't even have a discussion about this whole thing and you run off and tell the god damn hospital and everyone who wants to listen, what we are going to do? What about some privacy. Not even our parents know anything, but a bunch of strangers know now."

I take a deep breath that felt so good.

"I didn't tell the whole hospital, I was just so happy that I told Mark this morning and the whole thing blew up. He is my best friend and I just had to tell someone. I'm sorry honey, I didn't want to put so much pressure on you."

Her voice is full of regret and I feel my anger melting away, like an ice cube in the sun.

I close my eyes for a second. Of course my beloved Calliope wouldn't do something like that. She knows that I need time to process everything.

But Mark? He is a terrible gossip when it comes to baby making these days, he is even worse then some of the nurses. When he comes over tonight to cook something, I will drop his steak accidentally on the floor.

I look at her again and I feel instantly bad about my rant. My Calliope is a very vocal person. If she is happy or mad, she wants to let the whole world know.

I can't blame her, it's one of those things I love about her.

„Of course you should tell your best friend, it's just. The whole day was just so stressful. I'm open, wide open about the baby thing, it's just that I..."

I can't finish my sentence, because the man who is the source of most of my troubles these days, joins us.

„Hello ladies, how are my favorite mommies to be?"

I can't deal with Mark right now. So I roll my eyes and leave. It's a bad habit I try to quit, but I think Callie will understand.

* * *

Finally my surgery is here. I was looking forward to some quiet time and cutting someone open all day long now.

Not that I enjoy cutting open children, but saving a life today, will lift my spirits. No doubt about that.

I look quite stunned, when I see the Chief joining me.

„Dr. Webber? What are you doing here? I thought Bailey was going to join me on this one."

I have the Scalpel already in my hand and I'm ready to cut this boy open.

„Ah we switched. Bailey told me she wanted some quiet time in her OR. No chit-chat, no drama. Just her and her patient. Well you know how Bailey is."

I hold that Scalpel a little bit tighter. That traitor! Or maybe this thing won't be that bad. The Chief never striked me as a chatty person.

I want to make my first incision, when he starts talking again.

„So I heard some news today. You and Torres are going to have a baby?"

„Yeah, I mean, maybe..."

I try to make the incision again, why is it so hard to concentrate today?

„You know. You think there is a lot of responsibility, when you cut open children for a living. But having one of your own. That's a whole different story."

I feel the anger boiling deep inside of me. But I can feel already that this isn't going to be my only problem. Tears are starting to form in my eyes. If I start to cry, because I'm so angry at the Chief right now, I'm going to be so embarrassed.

I take some deep breaths and try to calm myself.

A third time, I start the incision, when he starts to talk again.

„Of course I don't know. I was always so busy with my work and Adele didn't want to raise children alone. You and Torres are both surgeons that's going to be a challenge..."

The water works are starting again. I breathe faster.

„Dr. Robbins? Are you crying?"

I open my eyes wide and try to blink the tears away.

„No Sir. There was just something in my eyes."

This surgery became pretty quickly a train wreck.

„Bokhee, please dry Dr. Robbins tears." I can feel how everyone is now staring at me.

„No! I'm fine. See! I'm fine and focused! No one will dry anything in my OR!"

My little outburst gave me a little bit of control back.

This is going to be longest surgery of my life.

* * *

I escaped like a coward on to the helipad of the hospital. It's so bad and I can already see my parents scolding me, but I take a cigarette, put it in my mouth and search for a lighter, but I can't find anything.

It's just my day. I went all the way up and forgot my lighter...

I turn around with the cigarette in my mouth and see how Owen and Derek join me on the helipad.

I heard about how some of the male attendings are playing Golf up here, but I never saw it before.

There is really no time for myself today, so I can process everything in peace.

Owen is the first one to talk.

„Dr. Robbins, I didn't know you smoked."

„I know, it's a very bad habit and I really don't do it often."

„So, you do it more out of stress?" Owen kind of looks concerned at me. Maybe a little bit shocked, since I always take care of living a healthy live.

„Kind of. Listen. I know that the two of you have that Golf thing going on. How about I just try to find some other place to hang out..."

Before I can finish, Derek is in front of me, holding a golf club.

„If you are stressed and need to clear the air, then join us."

I shake my head: „I don't play Golf, but thanks."

He just smiles at me. Damn those dreamy eyes!

„It will help you to relax and it won't kill you." He is clearly looking at the cigarette in my mouth.

„Come on, I show you how to do it."

The last man I kissed was Nick and I swore to myself I would never kiss another man again, but right now, I would make an exception for Derek Shepherd.


End file.
